By Pat Orr
Apple Valley Review
This headline is only marginally false. The cops playing in the Apple Valley Police Activities League Golf Tourney on Monday will be having fun. Whether there will be any “birdies” that result from that effort is doubtful, but badges and oaths seldom extend to the golf course so a few “foot wedges” may be in play to improve a score here or there.
This event helps fund the regular classes and activities such as the SHOCK Program and other at-risk youth classes and events that have been very successful in our town.
If you would like to play, donate or just hang out in the bar and listen to a lot of cops tell lies about their scores call Trish Hill at the San Bernardino Apple Valley station or contact her at thill@sbasd.org.
It’s a fun day and when you see someone draw a shotgun out of their golf bag it brings a whole new meaning to “blasting out of a sand trap.”
Troubled bridge over chilly water
Perhaps you missed the recent revelations that the new span that was added to the Bay Bridge may miss its scheduled Labor Day opening because they have found broken and defective bolts holding it together in addition to some serious defective weld issues in the tower base.
When Governor Sunspot was first confronted with the story a few weeks ago his retort was, “[expletive] happens.”
Now that the problems do appear somewhat serious, his demeanor has evolved into one of concern. I believe they may have struck a compromise wherein only registered Republicans and tea party members will be allowed to use the new span until a thorough investigation is completed.
Porn and con
Just a quick glimpse into legislative priorities: Assembly Bill 48 by Berkley Assemblywoman Nancy Skinner required mandatory use of condoms by those in the adult film industry. AB999 by Assemblyman Banta requires prisons to provide condoms to inmates.
Take a wild guess which one made it out of committee and will come up for a vote?
Apparently those hardworking (pun intended) adult actors just can’t catch a break. You have to go to prison to get free help avoiding a sexually transmitted disease these days.
Can we get a ‘wind law?’
Our legislature passes so many stupid laws every year — 2,000 have already been considered this term — it’s time we ask some nib-bob to sponsor a bill to set a strict limit on High Desert wind speeds.
I don’t know if it is a function of age but I seem to be really annoyed this year by the amount and velocity of windy days. My mother-in-law weighs 86 pounds and we can’t eat in our backyard without tying her to a few wall blocks so she won’t blow away when we duck in the house for a beer.
To make it worse failed construction sites have left graded dirt that blows and creates its own set of problems.
Yes, since Democrats believe government is the solution to all problems, I propose we petition Governor Sunspot to pass a law to keep the wind in the High Desert under, say, 7 mph. Liberals believe everything is possible through government intervention and regulation so let’s see some.
Perhaps they could build a super “tube” in which the extra summer hot air could be transported to Sacramento where it has a higher value.
Pat Orr is a local business owner, community volunteer and political junkie.